{"id":14977,"date":"2019-11-13T13:38:57","date_gmt":"2019-11-13T13:38:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/?p=14977"},"modified":"2021-04-26T19:21:29","modified_gmt":"2021-04-26T19:21:29","slug":"the-many-faces-of-love-agape","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/the-many-faces-of-love-agape\/","title":{"rendered":"The Many Faces of Love &#8211; Agape"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">I think almost all of us aspire to be healthy, whole, functioning people, and an important part of realizing this is experiencing and learning to love well. \u00a0One would think that this would be as easy as falling off a bike but love is a multifaceted expression, after all, we talk about loving potato chips and loving our spouse. \u00a0Obviously (hopefully), there is a significant difference in the quality and expression of love for potato chips and our spouse! \u00a0So, with such a broad use of the word love, it is important to be specific and clear when we talk about love. \u00a0Going a <em>little<\/em> deeper than the blissful satisfaction from the starchy, salty goodness of potato chips, having a solid living\/working definition of love is helpful for a deeper more meaningful life. I like Thomas Jay Oord\u2019s definition from his book\u00a0<\/span><strong><span id=\"ebooksProductTitle\" class=\"a-size-extra-large\" style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/dp\/1587432579\/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_BG.YDbRS99NTR\">Defining Love: A Philosophical, Scientific, and Theological Engagement.<\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Oord\u2019s definition is:<\/span><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><strong><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">\u201cTo love is to act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others (including God), to promote overall well-being.\u201d<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Often we find it necessary to add an adjective to love to help qualify what we mean when we use the word. Regardless of the adjective, when looking to love well, our love should meet the three aspects of Oord\u2019s definition:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">to act intentionally<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">in the context of relationship<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">promoting overall well-being<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">There are a variety of expressions of love that in their best, healthiest sense fit with Oord\u2019s definition. <strong>You are probably familiar with some of the Greek words for love, some of which are used in scripture. The top three many consider in church settings are Agape, Phileo, and Eros<\/strong>. I have written about these in the past, and most recently demonstrated each of these as facets of divine love - <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/facets-of-divine-love\/\">you can read it here<\/a><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">For fun, let\u2019s explore the word Agape. This is a bit of a mystical word in many Christian circles and I think at times it is applied narrowly, and we miss that the verb agape is often used in counter-intuitive ways in the New Testament. In ways that may unseat our narrow interpretation and use of the word.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Typically <strong>agape is understood as the opposite of self-love, unconditional, the kind of love that only God expresses, unmotivated, God as the sole initiator<\/strong>. These are fairly common religious ideas that many of us have grown up with.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Traditionally, many turn to\u00a0<strong>1 Corinthians 13:5<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cLove (agape)... It does not insist on its own way.\u201d It would seem that Paul, using agape is affirming the traditional self-less understanding of agape.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Let\u2019s take a look at <strong>Ephesians 5:28<\/strong> \u201cIn this same way, husbands ought to love (agape) their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves (agape) himself. 29\u00a0After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body.\u201d In both of these instances, <strong>Paul uses agape in a way that appeals to self-love<\/strong> - to love one's wife as they love themselves, love one's own body.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Let\u2019s look at other places where agape is used, Comparing it to the traditional definition of agape.<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\"><strong>Matthew 22:39<\/strong> - And the second is like it: \u2018Love (agape - Agap\u0113seis) your neighbor as yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\"><strong>Luke 6:32<\/strong> - If you love (agapate) those who love (agap\u014dntas) you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love (agap\u014dntas) those who love (agap\u014dsin) them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\"><strong>Luke 7: 4b-5<\/strong> - When they came to Jesus, they pleaded earnestly with him, \u201cThis man deserves to have you do this, because he loves (agape) our nation and has built our synagogue.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\"><strong>John 3:19<\/strong> - This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved (agape - egapesan) darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\"><strong>John 12:43<\/strong> - for they loved (agape - egapesan) human praise more than praise from God.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\"><strong>2 Timothy 4:10<\/strong> - \u00a0for Demas, because he loved (agape - agap\u0113sas) this world, has deserted me and has gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, and Titus to Dalmatia.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\"><strong>Hebrews. 1: 9<\/strong> - You have loved (agape - \u0113gap\u0113sas) righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\"><strong>Rev. 12:11<\/strong> - They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love (agape - \u0113gap\u0113san) their lives so much as to shrink from death.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">It would seem from the above examples that the word agape is used in a couple of different ways <strong>demonstrating that a narrow definition and application of the word agape is not consistent with the way it is used by New Testament writers.<\/strong> Sometimes, as we see above, agape implies a passionate desire like Eros, sometimes it is used in a context where it can be expressing self-love. Sometimes agape is unconditional and sometimes it is quite conditional. We engage the text critically to determine the context in which agape is being used to determine what it is being used to communicate.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">I think if we are honest, we can see that we too use the same words for different meanings and intensities depending upon the context we use them. Furthermore, <strong>as humans, our love is a mix of various kinds of love, that often our motives are not 100% pure as far as our religious altruism is concerned - especially with a loaded word like agape\/love. <\/strong>This is not a bad thing, it just is the way it is.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><strong>God is love<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Remember, <strong>there is no inherent hierarchy in the various expressions of love<\/strong>. In their healthiest manifestations and in the right contexts each of the different expressions can be authentically loving. (I can also demonstrate that even agape love in the wrong context can be unloving).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">Given the ambiguity of the use of agape in scripture, does this mean we throw out the word agape? \u00a0I don\u2019t think so. \u00a0I do think however it\u2019s really important that we resist becoming religiously exclusive and we are clear in the way that we define it. For guidance on this, particularly how we express agape, let\u2019s return to Oord\u2019s definition of love as I paraphrase <strong>Our love (agape, phileo, Eros, etc.) \u201cis best when we act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others (and God), to promote overall well-being.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">This can<strong>\u00a0free us into a much wider bandwidth of the love that is very much an expression of God <\/strong>and\u00a0it can help us better discern and respond well to the invitations of the Spirit.\u00a0<\/span><strong><span style=\"font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;\">All this to encourage us to not get bogged down in the minutia of religious altruism and to get on with loving well.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"It is important to be specific and clear what we mean when we talk about love. There are many different kinds of expression of love but having a solid living\/working definition of love is crucial.","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":14982,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[34],"tags":[99,167,172,179,348],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v17.2 (Yoast SEO v17.2) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You are probably familiar with some of the Greek words for love... 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The top three many consider in church settings are: Agape, Phileo and Eros.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/the-many-faces-of-love-agape\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/the-many-faces-of-love-agape\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/the-many-faces-of-love-agape\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Many Faces of Love &#8211; Agape"}]},{"@type":"Article","@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/the-many-faces-of-love-agape\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/the-many-faces-of-love-agape\/#webpage"},"author":{"@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/#\/schema\/person\/bc4c471b3c97fdb4984586d289b94166"},"headline":"The Many Faces of Love &#8211; Agape","datePublished":"2019-11-13T13:38:57+00:00","dateModified":"2021-04-26T19:21:29+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/the-many-faces-of-love-agape\/#webpage"},"wordCount":1127,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/the-many-faces-of-love-agape\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/balloon-1046658_1280.jpg","keywords":["Christian formation","everyday spirituality","experiencing God","faith in real life","Love Paradigm"],"articleSection":["Growing Deeper"],"inLanguage":"en","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/soul-significance\/the-many-faces-of-love-agape\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/#\/schema\/person\/bc4c471b3c97fdb4984586d289b94166","name":"Michael Rose","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/#personlogo","inLanguage":"en","url":"http:\/\/0.gravatar.com\/avatar\/fbe2e3971b2bee6815289428f67f6c6d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"http:\/\/0.gravatar.com\/avatar\/fbe2e3971b2bee6815289428f67f6c6d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Michael Rose"},"description":"A thoughtful mystic, an accidental activist, and soul friend to many, Michael helps people connect to life in more profound ways, to discover purpose, create meaning, and recognize and respond to the sacred in all of life. Michael serves as a spiritual director, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist\u00ae, healthcare chaplain, and author of \"Becoming Love. Avoiding Common Forms of Christian Insanity.\"","sameAs":["https:\/\/twitter.com\/Michaelmrose"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14977"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14977"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14977\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14982"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}