Freedom is the very nature of divine love, for it is when love is freely given and freely received that it is, in fact, healthy love. As soon as we attach expectations and seek to meet those exceptions by use of coercion or manipulation love ceases to be truly life-giving.
Consider these simple parables; the tree, the lamp and the rose; they do not attempt to manipulate you into serving them or honouring them. They don’t threaten to withhold their light, their shade or their beauty, nor do they force themselves upon us for our own good. The lamp doesn’t manipulate you to turn it on even when you are groping in the darkness. It is never loving to manipulate or threaten even if "it is for their own good." Nor does God withhold His perfect, divine love to manipulate you.
... where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. - 2 Cor. 3:17
In what ways do you strive to meet the exceptions of others to be loved and accepted?
What is the personal cost of having to perform to purchase the approval and acceptance of others?
Where is the freedom in this?
Now see how you may make the same demands of others; spoken or otherwise.
Ask for the grace to experience the love of God in each of these situations and allow this healing love of God to free you from the control and manipulation from others and to deliver you from the ways in which you may control and manipulate others. As you experience the divine love of the Father, these chains will loosen and fall to the ground.
Whom the Son sets free is free indeed. - John 8:36
(Inspired and adapted from: The Way of Love. Anthony DeMello, S.J. )