{"id":13951,"date":"2018-06-25T23:05:39","date_gmt":"2018-06-25T23:05:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/?p=13951"},"modified":"2018-09-28T23:08:11","modified_gmt":"2018-09-28T23:08:11","slug":"closure-may-not-be-what-you-are-looking-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/featured\/closure-may-not-be-what-you-are-looking-for\/","title":{"rendered":"Closure – Maybe not what you want"},"content":{"rendered":"

Words\u00a0are important.\u00a0 <\/span>Words are symbols that are arranged in a certain order - but these string of symbols can carry great significance.\u00a0 <\/span>Words can be neutral or packed with negative or positive connotations which are greatly affected by the context in which they are used AND heard.\u00a0 <\/span>It is helpful to remember that communication is not just that which was said but also that which is heard and understood<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the context of the Grief Recovery Method\u00ae<\/a>, we use the word \u201ccompletion\u201d to describe our goal concerning our relationship with the object of our loss<\/strong>.\u00a0 <\/span>Perhaps you are more accustomed to the word closure. \u00a0 <\/span>I was personally torn between closure and completion, and I admit that at first, I thought it was splitting hairs, but as I work with the terms, it makes more sense to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I think about closure, phrases like \u201cget over it\u201d or \"let it go,\" \u201cjust forget about it and move on. It\u2019s water under the bridge,\u201d or an abrupt unfinished ending comes to mind.\u00a0 <\/span>I know in a clinical sense it is certainly more nuanced than this, but often this is what people think when they hear the term closure.\u00a0 <\/span>Closure implies closed, finality or as a \u201cperiod\u201d in a sentence.<\/span><\/p>\n

But our important relationships stay with us, and for many, it's not enough (or always possible) to just cut it off and move on. \u00a0For example<\/span>:\u201dMy husband has died\u00a0 but I don\u2019t want to forget him and just get over it.\u201d\u00a0<\/span>For many, they don\u2019t want closure; they want something else.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

If <\/strong><\/span>closure is like a period, then completion is like a semicolon<\/strong> - in that it makes room for a continued relationship with those we have lost. \u00a0It also makes it easier to address any new aspects arising from loss should they arise.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>So, if we are completing the unfinished emotional aspects of the relationship to the present, we are increasing our ability to move forward less encumbered with a fresh perspective - not dragging our unfinished business with us into the future.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Completion looks different for each person<\/strong> because of the unique relationship we have with our loss, but it includes a process of reflection on the relationship and responding in a variety of ways that help you complete the emotional relationship with your loss. \u00a0This may include forming and communicating the things we wished we had said, or maybe how we never felt heard, the things we wish were different, better, or more. \u00a0Sometimes this means we need to say goodbye to our unmet hopes, dreams <\/span>and expectations for the future. \u00a0While often the person we want to say these things to may not be available, we can say them to a faithful, forgiving friend; who as a witness stands with us as we express our emotions, saying what we need to say.<\/span><\/p>\n

FORGETTING or AVOIDING IS NOT HEALING or RECOVERY<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014-<\/span>
\nThis is just some of the healing and transformative insights from the Grief Recovery Method\u00ae. \u00a0 The Grief Recovery Method\u00ae helps you complete your relationship to the pain, isolation, and loneliness caused by significant emotional loss. \u00a0While death and divorce may be fairly obvious kinds of loss, there over 40 other kinds of loss that produce feelings of grief. \u00a0LEARN MORE<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Words\u00a0are important.\u00a0 Words are symbols that are arranged in a certain order - but these string of symbols can carry great significance.\u00a0 Words can be neutral or packed with negative or positive connotations which are greatly affected by the context in which they are used AND heard.\u00a0 It is helpful to remember that communication is not just that which was Continue Reading<\/a>","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":13954,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[8,674],"tags":[676,229,675],"yoast_head":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\t\n\t\n\n\n\n\n\t\n\t\n\t\n