{"id":7266,"date":"2018-10-29T11:17:32","date_gmt":"2018-10-29T11:17:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/?p=7266"},"modified":"2018-11-01T16:31:37","modified_gmt":"2018-11-01T16:31:37","slug":"before-you-speak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/andre\/sole-significance\/before-you-speak\/","title":{"rendered":"Careless Words – Stop the Carnage"},"content":{"rendered":"

My 12-year-old tells us of how at\u00a0school there is a practice of \"burns\". \u00a0Burns are insults intended (so they say) to be humorous. \u00a0They make a sharp comment, someone feels stupid, hurt or embarrassed and the other kids laugh saying 'You just got burned!\" \u00a0And sometimes, after a scathing burn, they follow up with \"just kidding\" like that is to make the cruel thing they just said somehow better.<\/span><\/p>\n

A Christian\u2019s speech should bless, not berate or abuse. The tongue betrays the world that is in one\u2019s heart; it is a microcosm of the inner self.\u201d \u00a0- Richard Foster\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Whether harsh words are intended as comedy or from those who feel it's their calling to set other folks straight<\/em>, when our words aren't thoughtful and life-giving they don't produce anything healthy. \u00a0Practicing speaking words of life retrains our brains to do so and can bring genuine encouragement to do better for all involved.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But we all say things that are not very thoughtful. \u00a0Somedays it seems like the only time I open my mouth is to change feet. When I clue in that I have spouted-off, I almost always think back to my summers as a kid on my uncle's farm. \u00a0 Specifically, I remember a ceramic wall hanging with a folksy saying. \u00a0 I remember it because it was hung right by the door and on more than one occasion it was brought to my attention. \u00a0It was a cartoon of a farmer on a tractor that was quite obviously out of control. \u00a0The caption read:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBe sure your brain is in gear before engaging your mouth<\/em><\/strong>!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The words we say are surprisingly powerful despite \u201cSticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!<\/em>\u201d we are told as kids. The truth is many of us have been hurt by the careless words of others, and truth be told, we too have probably inflicted others with our fair share of hurtful words.\u00a0 Consider some ancient wisdom from a book called Proverbs - a compilation of many wisdom writers\u00a0edited\u00a0and compiled from 715 - 686 B.C:<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cReckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.\u201d Proverbs 12:18<\/span><\/p>\n

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0\"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider that a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.<\/strong>\" \u00a0(James 3:5)<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As Proverbs 18:21 suggests we can speak life and these life-inspiring words can be a tree of life and promote health \u00a0(Proverbs 15). \u00a0The words that are life-giving are true, kind helpful, inspiring, and encouraging. \u00a0They are life-giving because of the way they encourage us deeper towards wholeness, our best work and towards acts of great love.<\/span><\/p>\n

I like what Jesus said: what we speak (and how we say it) can be a good indication of what is happening in our hearts (Mt:12:34).\u00a0 Angry, sarcastic, cutting words, even when we are just kidding<\/em> are almost always a sign of pain in our own lives and worth taking a look at.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0This doesn\u2019t mean our words need to be fluffy, bubblegum, rainbows and unicorns<\/em> - rather our words need to be truthful AND<\/strong> loving.\u00a0 This, however, doesn\u2019t give us permission in our self-righteousness to hack and slash others! Honesty is only a virtue to the extent that leads to making things beautiful.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0 I came across this acrostic that I think is a good way to test our words.<\/span><\/p>\n

T<\/strong><\/span> - is it True?\u00a0 Sounds simple enough but be careful you are not stating an opinion as if it were gospel truth!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

H<\/strong><\/span> - is it Helpful? Will your words bring genuine, needed help to a situation or just piling-on?<\/span><\/p>\n

I<\/strong> <\/span>- is it Inspiring?\u00a0 Will our words inspire greater love, deeper meaning, better performance, perseverance or healthier thinking and behavior?<\/span><\/p>\n

N <\/strong><\/span>- is it Necessary? Do you have to say it?\u00a0 Sometimes its best to be silent and not\u00a0re-state the obvious.<\/span><\/p>\n

K<\/strong><\/span> - is it Kind? \u00a0Is the fruit it will produce good?<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Practice<\/span><\/span><\/h2>\n

Take a few minutes to reflect on a challenging conversation or two you have had recently.\u00a0 Pay attention not only to what you said and how you said it but what you felt in the midst of it.<\/span><\/p>\n