{"id":13848,"date":"2018-04-19T20:10:06","date_gmt":"2018-04-19T20:10:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/?p=13848"},"modified":"2018-09-28T23:10:12","modified_gmt":"2018-09-28T23:10:12","slug":"sterbs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/featured\/sterbs\/","title":{"rendered":"Games we play to Avoid Dealing with Emotional Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m a little Tea Pot… when I get all steamed -up hear me shout!<\/strong> \u00a0A familiar nursery rhyme but what an interesting allegory when we are talking about heart-wounds, stress and emotional pain. \u00a0Picture yourself as a tea-pot (or kettle). Add some water, some heat, and when water boils, steam (energy) is released through the spout – some kettles even whistle as the steam pumps out of the spout.<\/span><\/p>\n

Imagine what happens if we corked that boiling kettle? \u00a0 Energy would build up until something let loose.\u00a0Sometimes we unwittingly cork in our emotional kettle. \u00a0Many of us have never been taught how to deal with our emotional pain. \u00a0Many have been taught to ignore it, deny it and suppress it. \u00a0We are told not to cry, and to be strong. \u00a0We suppress our feelings because we are told painful feelings aren\u2019t allowed. \u00a0Unfortunately, we find ourselves in a double-bind because we aren\u2019t allowed to feel or express the pain but also need to find some way to manage that energy, so we look for strategies to do so. \u00a0Many of these strategies simply divert our attention or expend the energy for the short-term.\u00a0 These tactics are called Short Term Emotional Release Behaviors (S.T.E.R.B\u2019s).<\/strong> \u00a0These behaviors can include:<\/span><\/p>\n