{"id":8579,"date":"2015-02-14T19:09:16","date_gmt":"2015-02-14T19:09:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/?p=8579"},"modified":"2020-08-06T16:17:07","modified_gmt":"2020-08-06T16:17:07","slug":"dealing-with-conflict","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/featured\/dealing-with-conflict\/","title":{"rendered":"Peacemakers vs Peacekeeping: Dealing with Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you cringe at the thought of conflict? Do you often go to great lengths to avoid conflict at all costs? Do you tend to appease when you probably should confront? You may be a peacekeeper.<\/span><\/p>\n

There is a difference between the peacemaker and the peacekeeper. Peacekeepers will go to great lengths to avoid or appease bullies and the chronically grumpy. They will rationalize the unhealthy behavior of an individual to maintain a counterfeit peace in the community. This peace is no peace at all!<\/strong> Truth be told; those involved live on egg shells trying not to poke the bear, even when their behavior is hurtful and destructive. This way of dealing with conflict is unhealthy!<\/span><\/p>\n

Peacemakers, not content to be intimidated by a potential conflict, will wade into conflict to attempt to resolve differences, get thoughts and feelings into the open, work for compromise and reconciliation and then move on! The peacemakers are not content to merely pretend conflict isn’t happening. Peacemakers understand that when conflict is addressed in healthy ways, it leads to deeper relationships and understanding. It is also instrumental for greater innovation and creativity in relationships, teams, and communities.<\/span><\/p>\n

For many of us, we have been taught that conflict is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. However, conflict is a reality in every human relationship; marriage, family, the workplace. The way we deal with conflict has more to say about how healthy the relationship\/community is than the conflict itself. Dealing with conflict in healthy ways is freeing, and empowering. Dealing with conflict in healthy ways also helps by bringing the emotions, perceptions, fears, egos, misunderstandings and offence into the light so it can be dealt with instead of simmering under the surface of tense relationships and interaction.<\/span><\/p>\n

[tweetthis url=”http:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/?p=8579″]The ways we deal with conflict is a better indicator of the health of a relationship or community.[\/tweetthis]<\/span><\/p>\n

Steps to Healthy Conflict:<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n
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  • Identify and Address the Conflict<\/strong> – Pretending, avoiding or tiptoeing around a problem to avoid conflict will only create a toxic environment and greatly diminish life, innovation, creativity, workflow and teamwork. What\u2019s the issue? A task issue?\u00a0 A personality issue? A mistake\/misunderstanding?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
      \n
    • Emotions are natural but in your Anger don’t sin<\/strong> – Look, we are wired to have emotions.\u00a0 Even strong emotions can be completely healthy but sometimes the way we express those emotions can be unhelpful. \u00a0 In healthy relationships, the goal is not to hurt the other but to solve a problem and overcome an issue, and carry on in relationship for profitability, success, common mission, healthy marriage, etc.\u00a0 To this end, watch for emotional triggers and resolve to stay calm.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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      • A Mediator may help us translate and communicate<\/strong> – Sometimes a third party can help us navigate conflict.\u00a0 A good mediator can help us re-focus on larger common goals, help us address the specific issues, \u201cfight fair\u201d and help us leverage the conflict into healthy outcomes.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
          \n
        • Being right or achieving the goal?<\/strong> – We can be right all day long but be dead-right!\u00a0 We need to understand that healthy conflict is not possible when we feel we have to be right at all costs.\u00a0 This small, selfish position is more concerned with how we feel or view ourselves over the health of a relationship, the success of a task or mission or the well-being of the team.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
            \n
          • View Conflict as an Opportunity<\/strong> –\u00a0 When conflict is handled in healthy ways it can become a powerful catalyst for change!<\/span>\n
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            • On the personal side, it can help each party identify issues in themselves that may need some work.\u00a0 This makes us healthier.<\/span><\/li>\n
            • Relationships that practice healthy conflict resolution tend to be stronger, more rewarding and fruitful relationships.<\/span><\/li>\n
            • Conflict around tasks can help us achieve our common goal in the best way possible.\u00a0 Wrestling with different perspectives can help us see our own point of view under scrutiny.\u00a0 It also happens that a third way may become known in the midst of conflict.\u00a0 It is very common for healthy conflict to produce new insights and creative solutions.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Do you cringe at the thought of conflict? Do you often go to great lengths to avoid conflict at all costs? Do you tend to appease when you probably should confront? You may be a peacekeeper. There is a difference between the peacemaker and the peacekeeper. Peacekeepers will go to great lengths to avoid or…","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":8581,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,32,35],"tags":[63,110,129,196,534],"class_list":["post-8579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","category-significant-sustenance","category-success-with-significance","tag-balance","tag-community","tag-daily-living","tag-forgiveness","tag-value-people"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8579","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8579"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8579\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8581"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/iamsignificant.ca\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}