” I desire relationship, not your posing.” – Timothy Warren
It is happening all around us. In fact, maybe you have felt it happening within you? The shaking of what we thought we understood it was to be an authentic pastor or a minister. You have been a faithful leader, worked hard and been what you and others thought was heroic. You have served and sacrificed for the sake of the Kingdom, but you have become weary of the incessant need to maintain a facade and perhaps you are desiring the simplicity and safety of healthy relationships. Maybe you are just tired of the ‘hamster wheel” – working so hard to live up to the expectations of others that you have awakened to discover you no longer know who you are. You just want to be an authentic human being who is also a good, healthy pastor.
This is not uncommon, and the good news is there is hope! Many, many pastors are
awakening to this reality in their own lives. They can learn to shed the “poser” and experience deep contentment with family and ministry as they discover the richness of deeper relationship with God!
- The first step is to accept that God loves you regardless of your performance. He is more interested in your heart and relationship with you than “using you.”
- We need to accept and trust that what we are experiencing, as frightening and as paradigm upsetting as it is, God is at work within you.
- We also need to step off the “hamster wheel’ and come out of agreement with the lie that says “my value as a pastor, a person and as a child of God is based upon my ability to meet others expectations of me.”
- Finally, you are not alone – when I walked through this ten years ago, I thought I was the only one. The truth is God is doing this all over the world and as a “recovering pastor” (wink), I can tell you it gets better and better.
Freedom, grace, and love take on a richer, deeper meaning. Relationship and obedience connect in our hearts in such a way that vanquishes religious obligation. The best part is our relationships get much richer! Our relationship with God blossoms in new ways, our relationship with our spouse and family heals and become more beautiful and life-giving than ever thought possible. Finally, we enjoy the people we serve a whole bunch more. We don’t have to work so hard to appear to be something we’re not and can relax while with them as we learn we don’t have to meet their expectation to be a faithful pastor and leader.
You don’t have to be a poser. You can be free to be authentically you!
If you are a Pastor or ministry leader and God is leading you through a season like this, and you need someone to talk to, I want you to know I am here to talk. I started this journey ten years ago, have done a lot of journeying and have had the privilege of walking with many leaders on the same journey. I provide support and encouragement for Pastors and ministry leaders. We can pray together, talk about the ups and downs, I can point out some of the “landmarks,” help you find language to communicate what’s happening and I am a really good listener. What you share is 100% confidential.
If you are interested, send me an email with a bit of your story, a contact number and best time to call.
