Growing Up :: Life

I am cultivating silence in my life. It is not about eliminating the noise of life but becoming quiet in my mind and in my heart.

I am cultivating rest in my life. Not inactivity but an interior stillness amidst everyday life which displaces driven-ness.

I am cultivating weakness in my life. Being honest and stepping out from behind the facades of self-righteous strength and pretense. That I may come to accept my weakness and my need for others and my need for Jesus, with gratefulness.

I am cultivating simplicity in my life. Not becoming dull of wit, hiding my head in the sand nor denying the complexity of life but rather approaching life with a sense of wonder, mystery and trust. Trusting that the world and my life are unfolding just as they should. Trusting that indeed Gods arm is long enough and the good work He has begun in me and His good creation, He will see through to its glorious end.

I am cultivating gentleness in my life. Not some milk-toast rationalization of fear to really live. Rather to truly live by laying down my life for my friends and my God. That is serving, preferring others that I may find the joy and meaning that truly satisfies.

I am cultivating gratitude in my life. A sense of wonder and awe with the many blessings, big and small, that each day holds and this yields a deepening sense of contentment.

I am cultivating patience in my life. That I am no longer the centre of the universe nor am I truly entitled to anyone or anything. Releasing God, other people and things from the unhealthy, unrealistic expectations I have of them for my happiness.

I am cultivating forgiveness in my life. Accepting God's forgiveness and being reconciled to God (and myself) that we may walk freely together. Relieving myself and others of a burden too heavy to bear, a debt too large to repay and the tyranny that comes with trying to.

I am cultivating fidelity in my life. Understanding that in faithfulness lies a choice to keep loving even when it is really hard to do. A choice to love when your love is consumed and discarded indiscriminately, dashed and grounded into the dirt, only to rise like a prayer to love again. We discover the strength to love is found in love itself.

I am cultivating hope in my life. Dispelling the dark clouds of cynicism, fear and chronic loneliness. A hope that promises a future that inspires and enlivens my present with meaning, perseverance and purposeful action.

I am cultivating these things,  and as I look and see, it is my hand in the hand of my Father, the good gardener who labours within me to bring about a good harvest.  All the times I feel like I have fallen so short, I recognize these as gift; opportunity for the vine tender to come and relieve me of my lifeless branches thereby building capacity for greater life. It is in the vine that I may bear good fruit. I am becoming. Becoming Love.

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